Disciplines for Life/Meditation: Not Just for Gurus
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| - | }} | + | }} All couples fight. Styles of conflict may differ, but friction is inevitable. This is true for any two people who relate closely, be they roommates, co-workers, siblings, or lab partners. But because marriage is such an intimate relationship, fights between spouses are some of the most intense. |
| - | All couples fight. Styles of conflict may differ, but friction is inevitable. This is true for any two people who | + | |
| - | relate closely, be they roommates, co-workers, siblings, or | + | |
| - | lab partners. But because marriage is such an intimate | + | |
| - | relationship, fights between spouses are some of the most | + | |
| - | intense. | + | |
| - | Nancy and I found this out soon after we married. She | + | Nancy and I found this out soon after we married. She was used to cold warfare, I to Churchillian debates on the floor of Parliament. When conflict arose she withdrew behind a Berlin Wall of silence while I launched into emotional debate. She became intimidated. I got frustrated. The conflicts got worse. |
| - | was used to cold warfare, I to Churchillian debates on the | + | |
| - | floor of Parliament. When conflict arose she withdrew | + | |
| - | behind a Berlin Wall of silence while I launched into emotional debate. She became intimidated. I got frustrated. | + | |
| - | The conflicts got worse. | + | |
| - | So we talked about it, just the two of us, and we looked | + | So we talked about it, just the two of us, and we looked into the Bible to get some wisdom. We began to realize that our styles of handling conflict reflected worldly pat- terns of living that needed to change. We asked ourselves these questions: What does it mean for a husband to love his wife in the midst of a fight? What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband when she’d rather catch the first plane out of town? What does it mean to “not let the sun go down on your anger”? How is it that “a soft answer turns away wrath”? We prayed together about these issues and asked God to help us apply the Bible’s principles. We also asked him to help us resolve conflicts more quickly and learn something productive from each one. |
| - | into the Bible to get some wisdom. We began to realize | + | |
| - | that our styles of handling conflict reflected worldly pat- | + | |
| - | terns of living that needed to change. We asked ourselves | + | |
| - | these questions: What does it mean for a husband to love | + | |
| - | his wife in the midst of a fight? What does it mean for a | + | |
| - | wife to submit to her husband when she’d rather catch | + | |
| - | the first plane out of town? What does it mean to “not let | + | |
| - | the sun go down on your anger”? How is it that “a soft | + | |
| - | answer turns away wrath”? We prayed together about | + | |
| - | these issues and asked God to help us apply the Bible’s | + | |
| - | principles. We also asked him to help us resolve conflicts | + | |
| - | more quickly and learn something productive from each | + | |
| - | one. | + | |
| - | In effect, what we did was practice the spiritual discipline of meditating on God’s Word with the purpose of | + | In effect, what we did was practice the spiritual discipline of meditating on God’s Word with the purpose of changing our thinking...and our lives. |
| - | changing our thinking...and our lives. | + | |
| - | “Stop allowing yourself to be molded by means of the | + | {{LeftInsert|"Why does the intake of God’s Word often leave us so cold, and why don’t we have more success in our spiritual life? Puritan pastor Thomas Watson has the answer. ‘The reason we come away so cold from reading the Word is, because we do not warm ourselves at the fire of meditation.’<ref>Donald Whitney,''Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life'' (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 1991), p.45.</ref> |
| - | spirit of this world, but continue to be transformed in | + | |
| - | your soul by renewing your mind,” Paul told the Romans.<ref>The author’s expanded paraphrase.</ref> | + | '''—Donald Whitney'''}} “Stop allowing yourself to be molded by means of the spirit of this world, but continue to be transformed in your soul by renewing your mind,” Paul told the Romans.<ref>The author’s expanded paraphrase.</ref> In our marital conflicts, my mind had been molded to fight in a selfish, aggressive way that hurt Nancy and damaged our relationship. How did this happen? The “spirit of this world” used past examples and experiences to get me to believe this was the way to fight. My mind had adopted manipulative methods rather than the Bible’s clear command to be “gentle, not quarrelsome” (1Ti 3:3). Though I was certainly out of line, my behavior was not unique. Often our thinking conforms to the world’s pattern and we’re not even aware of it. |
| - | In our marital conflicts, my mind had been molded to | + | |
Revision as of 15:06, 16 May 2008
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Nancy and I found this out soon after we married. She was used to cold warfare, I to Churchillian debates on the floor of Parliament. When conflict arose she withdrew behind a Berlin Wall of silence while I launched into emotional debate. She became intimidated. I got frustrated. The conflicts got worse.
So we talked about it, just the two of us, and we looked into the Bible to get some wisdom. We began to realize that our styles of handling conflict reflected worldly pat- terns of living that needed to change. We asked ourselves these questions: What does it mean for a husband to love his wife in the midst of a fight? What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband when she’d rather catch the first plane out of town? What does it mean to “not let the sun go down on your anger”? How is it that “a soft answer turns away wrath”? We prayed together about these issues and asked God to help us apply the Bible’s principles. We also asked him to help us resolve conflicts more quickly and learn something productive from each one.
In effect, what we did was practice the spiritual discipline of meditating on God’s Word with the purpose of changing our thinking...and our lives.
"Why does the intake of God’s Word often leave us so cold, and why don’t we have more success in our spiritual life? Puritan pastor Thomas Watson has the answer. ‘The reason we come away so cold from reading the Word is, because we do not warm ourselves at the fire of meditation.’[1]
—Donald Whitney
“Stop allowing yourself to be molded by means of the spirit of this world, but continue to be transformed in your soul by renewing your mind,” Paul told the Romans.[2] In our marital conflicts, my mind had been molded to fight in a selfish, aggressive way that hurt Nancy and damaged our relationship. How did this happen? The “spirit of this world” used past examples and experiences to get me to believe this was the way to fight. My mind had adopted manipulative methods rather than the Bible’s clear command to be “gentle, not quarrelsome” (1Ti 3:3). Though I was certainly out of line, my behavior was not unique. Often our thinking conforms to the world’s pattern and we’re not even aware of it.
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