Why Small Groups?/What Makes a Great Leader?

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The golf course was right where the freeway should have been. I would normally enjoy finding myself at a golf course, but not under these particular circumstances.You see, my wife Lesley and I had been visiting a friend and gotten lost driving home. We didn’t have a map. The more we wandered around the countryside, the darker it got. After enough wrong turns to frighten our children, we finally found the missing freeway (maybe somebody had moved it), and headed for home—way behind schedule.

So it goes when you’ve lost your way: tensions rise, time is wasted. Leading small groups really isn’t very different. In order to be effective, the group must have a clear direction. More specifically, the leader must have a clear direction. And whether you are a group leader or one of the members, it’s essential that you understand what the position of leadership involves.

Contents

Let's Start at the Beginning...


What is the small-group leader’s purpose? As you lookback on a meeting—or a year’s worth of meetings—how will you know if you’ve been successful? What do your pastors want the group to accomplish? Without a clear understanding of its purpose, your small group will wander here and there without any sense of mission.

In our church, one thing we’ve done to avoid such aimlessness is to set forth a clear definition. Our small-group leaders are in place…

to extend the pastoral ministry of our church...

by providing a context...

in which to apply God’s Word...

so that growth, care, and relationships may occur.


Every component of this definition is significant, so let’s look at each of them in turn.

To extend pastoral ministry. Scripture teaches that churches are like flocks of sheep with shepherds to watchover them. These shepherds, also known as pastors, arecharged by God to lead, feed, and care for the people Godentrusts to them. In all but the smallest churches, thisimmense task is too difficult for one or even a few people.Moses found this out when he tried single-handedly tosolve the problems of a few million Israelites during their40-year trek through the wilderness.

Moses’ father-in-law Jethro came and counseled him,

What you are doing is not good. You and these peoplewho come to you will only wear yourselves out…select capable men from all the people—men whofear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hun-dreds, fifties and tens. Have them serve as judges forthe people at all times, but have them bring everydifficult case to you; the simple cases they candecide themselves…If you do this and God so com-mands, you will be able to stand the strain, and allthese people will go home satisfied (Ex 18:17-23).

By Jethro’s insight, which constitutes a primary biblicaldefinition of leadership, Moses learned how to provide theIsraelites with superior care, and live longer himself inthe process!

It is God’s design that every pastor identify and traintrustworthy men who fear God, investing them with realauthority and responsibility to extendthe pastoral ministry of the church. AsMoses learned (and New Testamentexamples show the same), this is donemost effectively through small groups.Small groups serve a local churchimmeasurably by bringing each mem-ber into ongoing relationships withtrained and gifted small-group leaderswho can serve and equip them in manyways. In this manner, the pastors arebetter able to concentrate on the min-istry of God’s Word and equipping oth-ers for ministry.  

However, pastors should neverbecome disconnected, and they shouldremain available to deal with the difficult issues as they arise. That availability releases thesmall-group leaders from any false notions that they arenow expected to function as pastors. Their job is to repre-sent the pastors, not replace them.

By providing a context. Recently, I was in a restaurantwith a menu featuring beautiful, glossy, full-color picturesof chocolate milk shakes. I like chocolate milk shakes. Iwas psyched. When it came my turn to order, the waitresssaid—to my surprise—that she was unable to serve me amilk shake.

Now, in this restaurant there was milk, ice cream,chocolate syrup, and a hungry customer—every ingredi-ent necessary for the sale and thankful consumption of achocolate milk shake. Unfortunately for me, there was noway to bring all these elements together. The milk shakemachine was broken.

Church life can be like this. You can have great preach-ing and teaching, trained leaders, and hungry Christians.But if you don’t have a context where all the elements canbe combined, you face disappointment.

Sunday meetings are obviously great times for God’sWord to be preached, but where and how will the Word beapplied? Sunday meetings are great places for people tocome together, but how willthese people move frombeing mere acquaintances tobecoming accountable toone another? Sunday meet-ings present great opportu-nities for the ministry of theSpirit but, logistically, howcan everyone exercise theirunique, God-given gifts? Itjust wouldn’t work.

Small groups provide an excellent context in which topursue many of the vital goals of church life that are diffi-cult, if not impossible, to pursue on Sunday mornings.And the small-group leader provides an invaluable serviceto the church by facilitating that process.

To apply God’s Word. The Bible is our guide for faithand practice. Only the Bible teaches what God requires ofus and what we must believe about God. No other book issufficient to equip us with all we need to live by God’sgrace and for God’s glory. Accordingly, small groups inthe church I serve are built around God’s Word. Themembers often use meetings to explore more deeply theteaching they receive on Sunday mornings. For Christ to be formed in us we must apprehend God’s truth and thenapply it to our lives. Therefore our groups often featurediscussions that help us to understand God’s Word andapply it practically to our daily lives.

So that growth, care, and relationships may occur.There are lots of small groups meeting these days. FromAlcoholics Anonymous to your local chapter of Hell’sAngels, folks gather for a variety of reasons. Scripture pro-vides three good reasons to gather in small groups: topromote sanctification, to extend care, and to develop truefellowship. Small groups aren’t the only places in the lifeof the church where growth, care, and relationships arefurthered, but they are vital ones. They provide a contextin which God’s Word can be applied personally and practi-cally, where friendships can blossom and grow, and wherenon-christians can experience something of the life ofGod’s people. This truth affects our definition of whatmakes for an effective small-group leader.

Success in leading a small group isn’t measured by howmany are in the group, how fast it grows numerically, orhow frequently it meets, but by whether the members ofthe group are increasingly dying to sin and living to righ-teousness. A great small group is not one where peopleare wowed by the Bible knowledge of the leader, but onewhere people take a genuine interest in the lives of othersin the group. A model meeting isn’t one that goes on forthree hours because the leader lets the discussion rangeacross a dozen topics, but one that ends with membersconfessing sins and applying biblical truth to everydayareas of their lives.</blockquote>

Four Easy Ways to Ruin a Small Group

Failure in leadership isn’t difficult. For most of us itcomes rather naturally. So here, with tongue plantedfirmly in cheek, are a few proven suggestions that willenable you to ruin your group in record time:

Tip #1: Do it all yourself. Training others is hard work.It takes time. Frequently those upstarts don’t do thingsexactly the way you would, which of course is totallyunacceptable. They might even try new things! Plus, ask-ing people to help out can be intimidating. So wouldn’t itbe easier just to do it all yourself? If this doesn’t work,here’s another suggestion: do nothing at all! Save yourpreparation for the last minute…so it’ll be fresh! Skimthe reading while you comb your hair; work out discussion sion questions in your mind during worship. Nobody willknow the difference.

Tip #2: Strive to become a self-contained mini-church.Small groups can be a great outlet for the ambitious butfrustrated leader. Instead of seeing yourself as part of ateam—working in concert with other small groups to glo-rify God by fulfilling the vision God has given your pastors—imagine yourself as the only one who really understandsGod’s will and direction for your group. Make every effortto build into the group members a unique loyalty to youand your personal style of leadership. Keep yourself (yourspecial charm and wisdom) at the center of everythingthat happens. Try to make your group self-sufficient sopeople won’t feel the need to participate in other aspectsof church life. One great way to do thisis to plan so many events that peopleare always busy doing group-relatedthings. It’s especially effective to set upevents that overlap with other church-wide events, causing members to haveto choose pretty regularly between,say, a camping trip with your groupand the church’s Sunday meeting.

Tip #3: Have all the answers.During discussions, you as a leader caneasily ruin a meeting by showing offyour extensive knowledge of b i b l i c a l ,theological, historical, and sports trivia.When someone poses a question, jumpright on it so everyone can beimpressed with your keen mind. (Ifyou wait too long, somebody elsemight take a shot at it and an actualdiscussion might ensue!) Above all, tryto keep the meetings in an “ask the expert” format. Theyshould hang on your every word. If you don’t know theanswer to a question, never let on. Just finesse it. Twoeffective approaches are either to insinuate it was a dumbquestion in the first place, or re-direct the question sothat someone else is embarrassed rather than you.

Tip #4: Go easy on the encouragement. As everyoneknows, encouragement brings life into a meeting likespringtime brings flowers. That’s why you want to avoid itat all costs. One effective strategy is to remain so focusedon yourself and your “performance” as leader that yousimply don’t notice anyone else. Another is to set up somany rules, guidelines, and expectations that no one can possibly deserve encouragement. Perhaps best of all, maketime to point out people’s faults and shortcomings, whileoverlooking the grace of God in their lives. If you do, I canguarantee you that failure is just around the corner.

Certainly there are many more ways to wreck a goodsmall group. I trust the comic approach used here is ahelpful reminder that God has invested leaders with agreat deal of responsibility. Though you are not expectedto replace the pastor, you do represent him, and yourbehavior will have more influence on the life of the groupthan anyone else’s. This awareness should motivate you todeepen your foundation in God’s grace, put to death thesin that still dwells in you, and cling tightly to the HolySpirit who alone can give you the power to know God anddie to sin. Further, in your role as leader you will set thepace for your group in humility. Be honest and vulnerableabout your struggles and sins, and aggressively seek outevaluation both from your group and your pastor. Try ask-ing these people, “How can I serve you better?”

Qualifications for aSmall-Group Leader

There was a time in ourchurch when we had peopleleading small groups beforethey had been in the churchlong enough to becomemembers. Later, as the pen-dulum swung back the otherway, we believed the qualifi-cations for a small-groupleader were virtually thesame as those for a pastor.

Somewhere in the middleare reasonable qualificationsthat fulfill the spirit ofExodus 18:21 (capable,trustworthy men who fearGod and hate dishonestgain), Acts 6:3 (men f r o mamong you known to be fullof the Spirit and wisdom),and 1 Timothy 3:8-10 (sin-cere men, worthy of respect not indulging in much wine nor pursuing dishonest gain, keeping hold of the deeptruths of the faith with a clear conscience, tested withnothing found against them). In the church which I serve,we have come up with the following ten qualifications forsmall-group leaders:

Committed. An effective leader is wholeheartedly com-mitted to his church, his pastors, and the goals they holdfor that church. This means recognizing that God’s handhas sovereignly brought him into that church and intoleadership there. This gives him a platform of faith fromwhich to support, encourage, and represent his churchleaders. A leader who has caught this vision will pass on tohis small group the same values, doctrines, and emphaseshis pastor would if he were there personally. He will seekto strengthen the group’s commitment to the Lord, thelocal church, and their pastor(s) rather than to himself.Such a leader will actively seek to direct the people in hisgroup into the ways of God and the unique expressions ofGod’s grace operating in that church.

Of proven character.When Moses or the apostleswent looking for men toserve in key positions, theysought out those who were“among them” with provencharacter. Clearly, menmust be tested beforeassuming a leadership role.They must not be made leaders unless and until they havedemonstrated sufficient character. If this principle isignored, God’s name will be maligned as leaders areexposed in various sins. Character is imperative—a non-negotiable. The ability to gather a crowd, demonstratepowerful spiritual gifts, speak eloquently, lead dynamicdiscussions or worship—none of these are sufficient forbiblical leadership. Significant character must also be pre-sent. We’re not looking for sinless perfection, but thepotential leader should display the fruit of the Spirit,growing humility, a consistent ability to manage his timeand responsibilities, as well as sufficient maturity to carefor his own soul and still have enough grace left over tocare for others.

Submitted. The Greek verb “to submit” (hypotasso) isa combination of two words. One means “under” and theother means “to put someone or something in charge.”Together they mean “to put under someone or somethingin charge.” Thus, the leader who wishes to be effective must understand both authority andsubmission—he must acknowledgethat being in authority depends on hiswillingness to be under authority. As acitizen he is “under” the governingauthorities (Ro 13:1); as a Christian heis “under” God’s authority (Jas 4:7); asa church member he is “under” theauthority of his church leaders (1Co16:16); if a husband he is “over” hiswife (Eph 5:23); if a father he is “over”his children (Eph 6:1); at work he maybe “over” certain employees (Eph 6:5).Jesus marvelled at the faith of the cen-turion who, because he understoodhimself as a man both in authority andunder authority, was actively yieldedto the authority of Christ (Mt 8:5-10).

If you are leading a group now orperhaps aspire to lead a group in thefuture, don’t dismiss this question: Areyou submitted to authority? Are you agood follower?

Having a love for people. As already noted, leading asmall group means serving as an extension of the pastorsin the shepherding of the church. It is essential that theman who takes this position have a growing love towardthe people for whom he cares. The Bible describes as a“hired hand” the man who looks after sheep—and is thustechnically a shepherd—but whose sole motivation is per-sonal gain (Jn 10:11-13). While the small-group leaders inour church definitely couldn’t be motivated by the incomethey receive from us (long hours, no pay!), there are manyselfish and ungodly reasons that might motivate someoneto lead a group. An effectiveleader must be motivated bylove for God’s people and asincere desire to serve themas they are conformed to theimage of Christ. This lovewill be reflected in the wayhe prays for them, supportsthem through trials, andencourages them, as well asby the way he corrects,admonishes, and instructsthem when appropriate. 

In a commendable marriage (if applicable). It’s nothard to imagine why a man with a bad marriage would bedisqualified to lead a small group. He’s going to havesome difficulty holding the group’s respect if, as he is urg-ing them to read the assignment, she pipes up, “Put yourmoney where your mouth is, slick! You haven’t read anyof the last three assignments and you know it!”

Simply put, leadership begins at home. Anyone who isnot leading his own wife into the ways of God’s w i s d o mand grace is simply not qualified to lead a group—and hecertainly shouldn’t be encouraged to export his failuresinto the lives of others!

Trained. As we discussed earlier, the small-group lead-er’s goal is to promote sanctification, care, and fellowshipin his group. Specific training is generally needed toaccomplish this. Training topics should include the pur-pose and practice of small groups in your church, as wellas practical skills such as leading discussions, worshipingin small groups, time management, delegation, trainingnew leaders, and so on. Further, each leader shouldreceive training in basic and essential doctrines such asjustification and sanctification.

Consistent in the spiritual disciplines. A leader mustalready be what he calls others to become. If he is callingothers onward and upward in God, he must also be press-ing ahead himself. Consistently practicing the spiritualdisciplines not only helps make the leader a worthy modelfor others, it provides fuel for his own fire. How will hebring truth to his group if he isn’t immersing himselfdaily in the only book that faithfully contains God’s reve-lation of truth to man? With what will he feed his group ifhe hasn’t been with God? How can he sense the leading ofthe Holy Spirit if he isn’t cultivating a relationship withthe person of the Holy Spirit? If his soul is not refreshed,how will he refresh others? And what else will refresh hissoul but time in the presence of his Maker?

Able to lead. While character, training, love for people,and the like are all essential for the leader, so too is thegift of leadership. However, it is easy to overestimate theneed for this gift. The small-group leader is not a “mini-pastor” who must spend 15 hours preparing a discussion,nor must he be able to counsel people through the mostdifficult crises. Still, he must be able to lead. People mustbe willing to follow him. He must know how to makedecisions in a way neither dictatorial nor democratic. Hemust be able to sense the leading of the Spirit.  He musthave the self-control and discipline necessary to steer a discussion in a profitable direction andkeep the group on course. He musthave the courage to show group mem-b e r s their faults, and the wisdom toknow when and how to do this. Theseare some of the things embodied in thegift of leadership—a gift which surelycan be cultivated and developed, butwhich must be present just the same.

A tither. Not much need to explainthis qualification. How we spend ourmoney reveals our priorities. A man’scommitment to tithing reveals muchabout how he views God and hischurch. Would you want a man whowasn’t tithing to have the responsibili-ty of leading your group?

Male. By now it has probablybecome apparent that we are assumingthe small-group leader ought to be aman. This is our understanding ofScripture, though we believe it isappropriate for a woman to lead asmall group consisting exclusively of other women (Tit2:1-5).

For some, male-only leadership may be a point of dis-pute or consternation. We live in a day when women arefinding increasing opportunities, both in the church andthe marketplace, to take on roles traditionally held bymen. However, our conviction on this point does notderive from culturally prevailing views, but from thesound and clear teaching of Scripture.

Men and women have much in common. Both are cre-ated in God’s image (Ge 1:27). Both have inherited a fallenhuman nature (Ge 3:22-24). As believers, both mayreceive the benefits of salvation (Gal 3:26-29); share theexpectation of full redemption in the day of Christ Jesus;enjoy equal access to God through their mediator ChristJesus; know the joy of the filling of the Holy Spirit; andfind fulfillment in being stewards of the Gospel. Yet stand-ing alongside these equally shared benefits are clear bibli-cal teachings which affirm the significant and wondrousdistinctions in their roles and functions.

The God-breathed words of Scripture reveal that menand women are distinct in their masculinity and feminini-ty. These distinctions were designed by God, are estab-lished in creation, and were affirmed by the Apostles (1Ti2:11-14; 1Pe 3:1-7). These fundamental differencesbetween men and women are not culturally derived. Moresignificantly, they are not a result of the fall. At creation,God made Adam the leader and head in his relationshipwith Eve (Ge 2:18-24). Evenbefore the effects of sin, Evewas divinely given the privi-lege of glorifying God bybeing Adam’s helper.

Men and women areequal in God’s sight as bear-ers of his image, but we havebeen given differing levels ofauthority. This is not a con-cept that Bible-believingChristians of any era shouldfind difficult, for we see thesame relationship modeledin the Trinity: the Son joy-fully submits to the will ofhis co-equal, the Father; andthe Spirit is sent by both theFather and the Son.

It is God’s design that thecomplementary differencesbetween men and women beevident in the home and church. In the church, govern-ing and teaching roles are specifically reserved for men.Leading a small group is one such role because it involvesoversight—caring for people, counseling them, and pro-viding a sense of direction.

To some, these convictions may seem restrictive andwrong. From our experience, however, they releasewomen to fulfill their God-given roles and functions. Wetrust that small groups who study these passages ofScripture will, in the words of Wayne Grudem, “discovertrue biblical manhood and womanhood in all of theirnoble dignity and joyful complementarity, as God createdthem to be, and will thus reflect more fully the image ofGod in their lives.”4

How to Have Dynamic Discussions

What makes for a great small-group meeting? Leaders,here are several tips. You want to provide a pleasant, cleanenvironment for the meeting itself. Having a greeter assigned to welcome people can help create a warm andfriendly atmosphere, especially for guests. The spiritualdepth and musical quality of your worship times may notrival what you normally experience on Sunday mornings,but if you keep the focus on God and his amazing grace,profitable worship times can be had even with no instru-ments or gifted singers. Encourage your group to eagerlydesire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy whichcan uniquely bring God’s comfort, encouragement, andstrength. Times of ministry and prayer for one anotherare a vital aspect of the meeting; these might take placeduring worship or after a discussion.

One part of the meeting that requires especially strongleadership skills is discussion. Let’s look closely at foursteps that will assist you in leading effective discussions.

Keep in mind that the goal is to apply God’s Word.This is what your group is all about—the working out ofGod’s Word in the daily lives of your group’s members.You must remain committed to this purpose. If you don’t,discussions will gradually drift into being mere debates,story-telling times, or sessions of “can you top this?”Even when the discussion material is from an article orbook, the leader’s goal should remains unchanged: high-light the biblical truth in what the author is saying. OnlyS c r i p t u r e is useful for teaching, rebuking, and correctingso that God’s people may be equipped for every good work(2Ti 3:16-17).

Bring good questions. Developing good questions ishard work. Even if you’ve been provided a list of ques-tions, there is still much to be done. A leader must care-fully work through the meeting material in advance (i.e.,more than 30 minutes before the meeting starts!).Consider the people in your group. What topics wouldbest serve them? What truths about God ought to bebrought out? Pray and ask the Spirit of God to guide youinto truth that will benefit your group. This is not somereligious formality, but part of our ongoing communica-tion with and reliance on God.

Good questions cause people to interact with the mate-rial and apply it to their lives. A helpful pattern is to havethe discussion begin with observation, proceed to inter-pretation, and end with application.

Observation:“What are the facts?” For example: Whatdetails does the author mention? What are the key wordsor ideas?

Interpretation:“What do the facts mean?” For exam-ple: What is the author trying to say to the people to whom he is writing? Why did he write this? What is the mainpoint? How would you summarize the author’s purpose?

The goal of interpretation is simple and yet critical: tounderstand what the author intended to communicate tohis original audience. A great deal of today’s Christianstudy materials routinely ignore “original intent,” andinstead directs readers to focus on what the biblical textmeans to them—an approach we should categoricallyreject. Professor Walt Russell has written a brilliant articlerevealing the pitfalls of “what-it-means-to-me” interpreta-tion. We have reprinted it as an appendix at the end of thisbook—don’t miss it!

Application:“What am I going to do about it?” Forexample: Why do you think we studied this material?What does this material tell us about God? What does ittell us about ourselves? How do you think God wants yourlife to be affected by this information? What is somethingyou plan to do differently as a result of this?

During the discussion, keep your goals in mind.When I lead a discussion, I desire that several things hap-pen. I want everyone to participate. This means I mustrein in talkative folks and gently draw out the quiet ones.As the discussion moves on, I keep in front of me thequestions I’ve prepared and the critical points I’ve plannedto cover. This helps me notice when we start “chasingrabbits” instead of moving in a productive direction.While holding on to my original plan, I also strivethroughout the discussion to be sensitive to the leading ofthe Spirit, ready to adjust or change course when appro-priate. Sometimes a seemingly trivial comment by agroup member exposes the tip of an iceberg, and a sensi-tive response on my part may serve the person by givinghim or her an opportunity to open up further.

Press to application.The most challenging aspect ofleading a discussion is trying to press the point home toa p p l i c a t i o n. The leader who fails to bring application leadshis group down a merry path into deception! James teachesus that merely listening to God’s Word without doing whatit says is self-deception (Jas 1:22). We think knowing moreabout God is the same thing as being more like him.Wrong! Information alone is insufficient. T r a n s f o r m a t i o nis required. (Demons know sound doctrine but remainunchanged by it.) We must respond. We must apply. Bythe power of the Spirit and for the glory of God, we mustchange. Indwelling sin is at work in our flesh, but we mustput it to death. The imputed righteousness we receivedfrom Christ at the Cross must now, by God’s grace progressively become a functional holiness reflected in ourthoughts, intentions, values, habits, decisions, actions,and words. What better place to do this than a smallgroup? What better time than in response to a discussioncentered around God’s Word?

Leading and Motivating by Grace

In 1985 an earthquake struck central Mexico, bringingdestruction to a wide area. The intensity of the hugequake—8.1 on the Richter scale—was greatly magnifiedin Mexico City because the metropolis had been built on adry lake bed. When the earthbegan to shake, the softground beneath the city liq-uefied, amplifying the effectsof the temblors. The absenceof bedrock below groundgreatly increased the devas-tation above ground.

The life of the Christian isdesigned to be built on the bedrock of God’s grace. Youwere saved by grace alone. You are being sanctified andchanged by grace alone. You will be received into glory bygrace alone. The basis for your relationship with God was,is, and ever shall be sola gratia, grace alone! A capablesmall-group leader will be sure his life and his group areboth solidly fixed on the Rock—the person and savingwork of Christ our Lord. Are you growing in grace? Here are some questionsyou can use to check your “grace meter”:n

Are you more aware of what Christ did for you at the Cross than what you have (or haven’t) done for him lately?

A small-group leader occupies a unique and vital rolein the church. He serves the church’s leaders by extendingtheir ministry. He serves his group by providing a contextwhere, by applying God’s Word, they can grow in holiness,give and receive care, and develop godly relationships. Heserves his God by growing in grace while pointing othersthere as well.

GROUP DISCUSSION

1. In a single sentence, write down what you think is thepurpose of this group, then compare your answers.

2. Why is a small group such a great context for growth?

3. What were your answers to Question 2 on page 49?

4. How well is your leader running your group? Rate himon a scale of 1 (no damage) to 10 (total devastation).

5. Why do you think the author placed such an emphasison applying God’s Word?

6. Here’s your chance to lead by humble example, fearless leader: In which of the ten qualifications for leadership did you feel least qualified? Most qualified?

7. How long has it been since a discussion in your small group went way off course? What can you do to prevent that from happening again?

8. Is this group being led with a spirit of grace?

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